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Einstein X. Mystery

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The secret to comedy is [Sep. 2nd, 2011|09:47 am]
Einstein X. Mystery
So, a group of people all tied together by their belief in Supreme Deity are driving. They pull to a complete stop at a red light next to a vehicle containing a person who is of the religious majority. The new arrivals at the stop light are practicing their Constitutional rights to practice free speech enthusiatically but non-violently. They wait until the light turns green, obeying all traffic laws, then drive away without any harm to the other driver who remains at the [green] light about to drive away.

A semi truck driver with no prior knowledge of these peoples' views on America or their religious affiliation comes onto the scene. With disregard for traffic laws and human life, he accidentally plows through the intersection, killing everyone inside the vehicle.

This inspires the driver who was about to drive through the green light to ponder the situation. He feels no sadness at what has happened to the folks killed in the car up ahead. He feels no empathy for the psychological and legal impact on the semi truck driver who has just ended the lives of his fellow human beings. Instead, in cold disregard for anything happening around him, he thinks on what has just happened. He sees that people that did not share his viewpoints, and he would most likely never see again (if they had lived) are now dead and that he had not been the one to kill them.

He decides to ignore his religious and moral lessons taught to him throughout his life of peace and tolerance to others, and the next day to go seek employment as a truck driver. Thus enabling him to emulate his new accidental hero, the driver of the semi that killed the people he did not like for their heinous actions the other day.

He then decides to email his friends and family to let them know of the news and his decision, taking delight in phrasing the horrible events from the previous day in the form of a joke.

Today, a murderer is born.
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For my own reference [Jun. 7th, 2011|10:40 am]
Einstein X. Mystery
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

The ten classroom management skills:
  1. Set the mood and tone
  2. Create a positive climate
  3. [Use a] personal approach and [make] individual contact
  4. Set direct goals
  5. [Give] thoughtful feedback to student response
  6. Reinforce positive behavior
  7. Give specific and realistic praise
  8. Give positive correction rather than criticism
  9. Refer to students by name
  10. Teach concept of personal victory
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Mission: Possible Large Monkey detected [Feb. 12th, 2011|09:22 pm]
Einstein X. Mystery
Laura competed today in a tournament.

Unfortunately, I was helping out and missed her form competition.

Here, she shows the weapon form she created:

And, here she fights:

Results: Took 2nd place in Weapons, and did not win at sparring.
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Laura's Black Belt Testing [Feb. 9th, 2011|11:19 pm]
Einstein X. Mystery
Laura tested this evening.

She performed her form, In Wha 2:

She demonstrated her sparring technique:

And, she demonstrated her power by breaking a board with two techniques:

We find out how she did next Wednesday.
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(R) House of Representatives < /b/ [Feb. 4th, 2011|10:55 pm]
Einstein X. Mystery
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood |aggravatedaggravated]
[Current Music |Whirr - The Cooling Fans]

Are the Republicans trying to legalize rape? Not *really*, no. Are they engaged in a ridiculous campaign to limit womens rights? Well, duh, of course they are, they're Republicans.

If this bullshit passes, my level of outrage will depend greatly on how the court interprets the term "Forcible Rape." Want to force your child on someone? Make sure it's someone on Medicare, and make sure to drug them first! :|

On the bright side, I have decided that the portmanteau "Rapeublicans" is entirely inaccurate. They're not trying to legalize rape, just force poor people to bear their rapist's children. I'm glad I decided to read the actual bill before flinging that term around.

As I still find the party and many of its members repugnant, I'll continue to swing "Repugnicans" as appropriate.
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At least it didn't take any elementium [Feb. 3rd, 2011|04:14 pm]
Einstein X. Mystery
[Current Location |Home]
[Current Mood |ecstaticecstatic]
[Current Music |Creeper World on pause]

I stayed up too late last night, and overslept. Running late, I had to drive in. (Goodbye $13 parking).

On the other hand, this meant a faster commute home.

But I forgot I had a dentist appointment today. So I left at 2:30 like my alarm said.

Except since I drove in, it only took twenty minutes to get to his office, not seventy. So, despite staying a quarter hour later at work to compensate, I was still a half hour early to my appointment.

So I'm sitting in the car, digging for a book or a magazine to read while I wait, and there's my phone. Waving at me. Hi, phone. Oh phone, I miss you.

Then, when I walked in, Beverly (the receptionist I've known since I was a tadpole) informed me that all the appointments were canceled for today, why was I there?

What? No, you never called me, the appointment was clearly for Thursday... the tenth. D'OH

Good news and bad news... Pretty good day, all told.
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Another Survey Meme: Movies [Dec. 1st, 2010|12:15 pm]
Einstein X. Mystery


The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Twenty films you've seen that will always stick with you. List the first twenty you can recall in no more than twenty minutes. Tag twenty friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what films my friends choose!

01. Pulp Fiction
I didn't see this movie when it came out. Of course I didn't. It came out in 1994, I was fifteen. When I saw it (on VHS no less) a few years ago, I was transfixed. The confusingly interweaved storylines telling the tale of one very busy day. The memorable quotable moments (ENGLISH, MELONFARMER! DO YOU SPEAK IT; No, Butch; I'm pretty !@#$ing far from OK.) have surely made all my friends sorry they ever showed me this movie.

I have a AVI in My Documents, and have frequently listened to it at ListenToAMovie.com. Which isn't working now, so have some bunnies:

02. Lion King
I saw this movie in the theatres. I made my parents buy the VHS for me (not much of a struggle, but). I got Dad to tape the songs from the VHS onto a cassette I listened to endlessly. Even after I had scraped enough money to buy the official soundtrack, I still preferred the homemeade version because it had the back-and-forth between Simba, Timon and Poomba.


03. Matrix
It's fashionable to hate the matrix - especially the second & third movies - but it's a fun movie. The climax of the first movie, with all the shootings and acrobatics, was exceedingly awesome.

04. Dumbo
I don't know why this is on the list. I don't know if I even saw the movie. But when I was trying to think of movies, Dumbo flying through the air with his magic feather popped into my head.

05. Reservoir Dogs
I ain't the !@#$ing rat, maybe you're the %^&*ing rat! I ain't no !@#$ing rat!

A heist movie, set entirely (sans flashbacks) in a large cement room.
Bunnies: http://www.angryalien.com/0406/reservoirbleepedbuns.asp

06. 2010
I don't remember the movie itself. But my uncle George & aunt Judy took me to see it when I was little and being in the theater with them is what I remember.

07. The Lord of the Rings
Huge story. Huge movie. ELEVEN FRIGGIN HOURS.
Like, the one movie ever to do justice to The Book.

08. Congo
Another movie I remember more for the people I was with rather than the movie itself. This movie was the occasion of my first date.

09. Andromeda Strain
The movie as a whole is pretty good. But the one scene that made this popped into my head was when the one woman - after being awake for like 40 hours working frantically on a cure - falls asleep just when the cure scrolls across the screen.

It should be taken as a parable, by anyone, ever, who thinks that overtime is a good idea. (Exceptions made: when someone may die. even then, you still need your sleep.)

10. Rising Sun
Being on a Michael Crichton kick, this one popped in my head. The book was better. Even Sean Connery as Sensei couldn't make it a very good movie. I seem to recall a half-naked chick at some point, though.

10.5 Jurassic Park
OMG I can't believe I forgot JP. I played this game on the SNES, too.
I hated the fact that John Hammond didn't get his comeuppance like he did in the books.

11. some anime I can't remember the title of - no wait - Princess Mononoke
The 'happy ending" to this tale was the hero and heroine might, at some indefinite point in the future, get together. My mind draws an analogy to the difference between TV/movie crime fiction decades ago vs now. In "the old days" the movie was over with a happy ending when the guy got arrested; nowadays you need to show either a) vigilante justice, or b) conviction & sentencing of the bad guy.

12. Showgirls
Not a "good" movie, but not nearly as bad as everyone was saying. Ms. Berkley sure did look good nude. (IMDB sez she spent 20 minutes on screen - 1/6th of the movie - completely naked.)

13. Spaceballs
That's the kind of combination a moron has on his luggage!
"Did you get it? What's the code?"
1-2-3-4-5, sir.
"What? Damn! I'm going to have to change the combination on my luggage."

<3 Mel Brooks. And may the schwartz be wit' you.

14. Blazing Saddles
See above, really. I remember it being a slightly better movie than Spaceballs without being any less funny.

15. Star Wars 4-5-6
I wasn't wild about star wars, but they were big when I was little, so.

15.5. Star Wars 1-2-3
The pod racing scene always comes to mind, mostly due to the video games. I don't think these were as bad as everyone said, either.

15.6 Star Trek
I don't believe I almost forgot these. most of them, anyway. 4 was the best of TOS. All the TNG ones I liked.

16. Up
Mostly for the way that --SQUIRREL!! ... certain memes have entered my vocabulary.

17. Kill Bill v. 1 & 2
Well, first, Uma Thurman in that yellow suit. Mmm. The over-the-top action, and how deadly serious every character took the story made it great.

18. Toy Story
realistic animated characters that somehow avoided the uncanny valley. Not so much toy story itself - although it was pretty good - but the other stuff Pixar does/did.

19. Incredibles
No comments here. Fun movie.

20. Boys on the Side
Hmm. I think this one is more of a "no comment".
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you can't really count the two weeks against them [Oct. 11th, 2010|05:03 pm]
Einstein X. Mystery
[Current Mood |amusedamused]
[Current Music |Journey / Wheel In The Sky]

So today I renewed my car's registration.

Time Spent Activity
1 minute Accessing website
2 weeks Forgetting to get emissions checked
3 minutesGetting emissions checked
30 minutesDriving to and from emissions place
2 minutesAccessing website
5 minutesCorrecting address
30 minutesWalking to and getting lost in wrong building
5 minutesEntering correct building & getting tabs

If I'd taken less time !@#$ing around, it would have been about 10 minutes total billable time. Actual clock time, of course, is about 2 1/2 weeks.

We'll save the Tim %^&*ing Eyman frothing rant for a later time.
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I'll secondary market you in the damn face [Sep. 13th, 2010|09:17 am]
Einstein X. Mystery
I received some spam today offering a 10% discount on FF14 gil. I was confused - why didn't the spam blocker catch this? Then I remembered this was the website I'd bought the FF11 gil from when i was playing with Dad.

FF11 had the stupidest design decision I'd ever seen in an MMO: You cannot pick a server without buying a "world pass" with a significant amount of in-game currency. So in order to play the game WITH OTHER FRIGGIN PEOPLE you had to a. grind cash for a week, or b. patronize the secondary market.

Knowing how I feel about the secondary market, this should tell you something about the RAGE I was feeling at the time.

I have no plans to ever play 14. There's about four other MMOs I'll be playing first.
But if they haven't fixed that stupidity, I will never play it. Which would make it the first Final Fantasy game I haven't played.

Edit: And I just had to delete my first spam comment. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed, or satisfied with my rite of passage.
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People who can't do math [Aug. 25th, 2010|02:55 pm]
Einstein X. Mystery
[Current Mood |confusedconfused]

Hmm. This website (to which I am NOT linking) looks at first glance like a fun way to get a great deal - 16GB ipad for $200 - but it's a trap.

So you click the button, and bam - you've bid on an item.
The price looks stupid low - $1 for an olive oil sprayer? $220 for an ipad?
And even if you don't win, you can still get the item for the "value price." And the cost of your clicks is discounted from the "value price" so you can get it anyway!

Here's the catch. In addition to paying the bid price (plus shipping) if you win, you have to pay 60¢ per click - even if you lose. (Since each bid raises the price by 1¢, that $256.14 iPad made the company roughly $15,400 in bid fees.) Say you made 100 bids on that iPad before you gave up. That's $60 down the drain.

the istore lists a 16GB wifi-only ipad for $499, with free shipping.
The "value price" for this item is $699.

So if you decide to throw good money after bad, you end up paying $639 for a $500 ipad.

WTF? Apparently, consumers don't like to do math.
Hint: If it seems too good to be true - it is.
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